Sexless in Gaza.

5/10/2014  

Things have really changed for us us sexually since the onset of menopause in or around the start of 2002. Actually it has been going on for two years, and recently she let me know in no uncertain terms that her Libido is kaput and that she has no interest at all in sex. She wasn't even into her beloved "self-pleasuring" routine. (But that picked up later but is all but gone these days.) Of course masturbation has always been big for me and it's frequency had gone down appreciably after the radiation treatment in 2004.So I was left bereft with no sexual outlet for quite a long time, we are talking years. I got into porno for vicarious thrills and occasionally I'd wang away with no or little success, The juice producing jism was gone, dried up by the radiation. A couple of weeks ago Sue had two orgasms in bed when half awake. She enjoyed the experience quite a bit, and she told me all about it. Just recently something seems to be happening to me. Masturbation suddenly works again, that is, all but the ejaculations, which is still only an ooze of watery stuff. Not only do I get hard, it doesn't take me long to reach the crest of coming, and when I do the organisms are pretty satisfying. I haven't talked to Sue yet about this development.

Back in San Jose, when we first got married in 1961, and Sue was really "hot," more then I had the experience to see or to take advantage of, here I was, married to this horny young wife, who I should have been fucking five times a day, but I was not inclined to do that simple because I was still very much locked inside a Catholic straight jacket, only I didn't know it--but Sue did, you bet she did. I had spent years running away from pussy so when I had, theoretically, all I could possibly want I was frozen in place and stuck to fucking her twice a month. How insane was that? I was a walking contradiction. So what was the upshot of my situation? Two results. She had two affairs the first year of our marriage, in both instances with men who had considerable experience, and I jack off a lot, sometimes while looking at her asleep in bed. How sick is that? I did not get release till my late thirties, and it came dripping slow, not in one big rush. I was in the grip of years of denial which had tightened me organically. During the early stages of the INFERNO I had this terrifying vision of being on boat in a sea of Priest monsters who kept trying to pull me into the green putrid sea with them. People may have heard of Tinkers to Evers to Chance, a great double-play team of many years ago, well, I had to fight off the team of Schmidt to Enders to Ludwig, three influential priests I had at St. Joseph's. Sometime I see a third predatory threesome chewing on my balls--Sue, her mother, and Cora, her grandmother.